A Pats Loss, But a Caroline Win - February 9, 2026

Hi everyone! It’s freezing in New England! Shocker. Who the hell needs that stupid groundhog anyway?

We’re 3 Taxol cycles in out of 12. Nine left. Lemme tell you, the rumors about it being easier to tolerate than AC are true. I feel more human now and the side effects are far more manageable than they were. That is a serious win. I hope to visit New Jersey next week--I haven't been home since this whole thing started. I am long overdue. One constant thought loop I can’t get out of is how I miss my dad and my pets and friends and family. How I worry for them, how I’m missing opportunities to see the next generation of our family grow up. Sigh, let's hope the weather behaves this time.

I can’t imagine what reading these must be like, lol. The Superman narrator says: “It’s verbose! It’s emotionally charged! No! It’s…just Caroline with another update.” Sounds about right.

Anyway, amidst the chaos, there are some interesting things starting to take shape. To preface, these two things are true about me:
     1. I’m a golden retriever until circumstances require a pit bull.
     2. I can write.
These updates have become one of my biggest coping tools. Writing the thoughts out eases the constant ricochet in my brain in a way physically talking doesn’t. My dad always says, “You just keep thinking, Butch” (of Sundance Kid fame), and while that’s historically been my problem, lately I’ve been putting the anger, sadness, thinking, and writing to good use. I’ve found myself intensely worried about how many young women are in my exact position and don’t know it yet. We aren’t taught how to do self-checks until 40. There is a growing, horrifying argument against doing self-checks at all—when 85% of people under 45 find their own cancer as it is! Mammograms are often still denied when self-reported because we’re “too young” or because…we’re women. That dismissal creates a dangerous feedback loop: providers stop listening and patients stop trusting themselves. It’s a really serious, life-ending problem.

I wrote a piece about navigating breast cancer as a younger patient and the gap between how it’s discussed and how it’s actually lived. I sent it to a few nonprofits just to see what would happen. The Susan G. Komen Foundation asked to publish it alongside an interview I did with them on 1/29. A local organization that has been a lifeline for me—resources, friendship, structure, relentless positivity (WE CAN & its ladies, I love you all so very much!!!)—also invited me to give a short talk at our monthly meetup this week: “Breast Cancer vs. Self Love: FIGHT! 5 Points on Self Love When Life Is a Literal Dumpster Fire.” I'm doing things that are impactful. Cathartic. Meaningful. Feels like I’m getting somewhere, anywhere, finally.

Here is my feature on Susan G. Komen's site: https://www.komen.org/blog/carolines-story-breast-cancer-at-30/

I’m realizing that advocacy might be where I land. Not everyone wants to tell their story and no survivor owes anyone anything. And not all of them, but the glittery facade of some loud, saccharinely inspiring CANCER WARRIOR social media annoy me somewhat because they create this subliminal pressure to overshare, because that’s what everyone does these days, right? That’s never what it should be about. The truth is there’s no light bright enough at the end of this tunnel to make up for this flavor of hell. I will never not be bitter and butthurt about this whole ordeal. But for me, maybe the reaching light takes the form of turning around, grabbing another woman, and helping her reach hers—just like so many survivors and people in general alike are doing for me, readily and without hesitation. I’ll never get back what I lose out on now but maybe we all have something to gain from this.

One last thing: Every care package, card, food delivery…I am the luckiest person in the world just based on the astounding generosity that has been hurled at me for 4 months straight. I want and need for nothing, truly, and I am blessed beyond reason to be able to say that. There are a few places that have had a major hand in helping me out lately. Instead of sending me anything more, I’ve included some links at the bottom if you would like to donate to these amazing places doing amazing things for amazing people. Again…”thank you” to both you and these groups just doesn’t begin to cut it.

Right. So, manifest it with me now: Pay me to travel around, talk about my rogue t*ts, and save lives! (Read: dearest of Gods. This situation. This whole planet. Something’s gotta give for all of us.) It feels like the damned end times lately…the horrors persist and so do we, I guess. But one thing is for sure! I am so beyond grateful for this small army we’ve amassed. Come on. Let’s just get to the light already.

Thank you again for everything. Love you all, folks!!!

Proud new owner of an eyebrow pencil (UGH),
Caroline